Jess Cooper

Buy stuff like it's 1999!

Do it before Y2K (THE MILLENNIUM BUG) eats the world

In 1999, I was 13 years old and didn't know how to pluck my eyebrows yet or shave my legs. But I knew I was the coolest kid in class because I knew everything about Y2K prep!

I never owned this particular book, but I frequented a website on the topic (written, perhaps, by the same author). I learned so much from that site. Like, did you know you can TURN YOUR PEE INTO POTABLE WATER??? All you need is some saran wrap, two cups, some pebbles, your pee, and a hole in the ground. Basically, you dig a hole in the ground in an area that gets a lot of sunlight. Then you pee into a cup and place it in the hole, then take an empty cup and put it in the center of the hole. Then you take a piece of saran wrap, and stretch it over the hole and hold it down on the edge with rocks/pebbles/whatever. Then, you need to take a pebble and place it in the middle of the saran wrap, directly on top of the empty container. The idea is that the sun will cause the water from your pee to evaporate and condense(ate?) and cling to the saran wrap, and drip into the cup!

Perhaps you might like to try these Zen Garden stones, although I'm not sure if they come glued together:
My family also had one of combination flashlight/radios for power outages. Except it ran on D-sized batteries, didn't use LED lights, and didn't have a phone charger on it.

I also really adored this album by Beck. I bought it at HMV in Toronto. Did they even have HMV in America? Can you believe this album came out in 1999???!?!? lady, step into my hyundai!

I also had to buy this album so I could speak the same language as my classmates. My dad hates the song Squeeze Toy.

Here's a story: keep going out at night and seeing girls in ghastly black lipstick and wearing chokers and bellbottoms and halter tops like it's the 70s or 90s (depending on if said clothing is covered in patchwork or fringe, or if it's ribbed).

I can't tell if I missed the memo that we're at a costume party, or if that stuff has actually become cool? Like, am I going to see people tripping over their JNCOs again?

Are girls gonna go around with these tattoo choker thingies too?

And bindi stickers? Thanks to Gwen Stefani?

And butterfly clips? Did any one else ever get these stuck on their lips?

Bra strap headbands?

My cousin was the first person I knew to get an inflatable chair. Hers was purple.
I think I became addicted to the Internet in 1999. I remember thinking, "How the hell can anyone tear through 500 hours of Internet in a month!?"

I am going to end this post before it becomes a Buzzfeed listicle.
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