Sam Jackson
Listicle

Bronzing for Beginners

Get your melanin in

1. Weak sunscreen

A necessary evil. You need to protect a little bit, but not too much. Hawaiian Tropic is my favorite because it smells like Pina Colada and the beach.

2. Knockarounds

The best beach sunglasses. Cheap, cool, and Snoop loves them.

3. Tanks on Tanks

If you really want to get some bronze, you've got to be willing to get some sun at every possible opportunity. While you can't always go shirtless, you CAN wear tanks everywhere. Just be careful of getting a permanent tank line, and realize some (decidedly unbronze) people don't think they are the height of fashion.

4. GPS watch

OK I know what you're thinking, one of these things is not like the others. Not so. Nothing will get you running more than a GPS watch, and what could be better than getting in some cardio WHILE getting some sweet sun at the same time. ALSO, you can go shirtless in far colder temperatures while running than not, so you'll get a huge head start on summer.

5. Throne

If you've got a pool, patio, or illegal roof access in your apartment building, you gotta get one of these. Note pull out tray for beverages.

6. Blanket

If you've got a beach, lawn, or dog shit covered park near you, you'll want one of these. Note the tassels.

7. Sun-In

While not technically a bronzing agent, it goes hand in hand. If you are doing it right, you won't need this stuff, but if you want a head start (pun intended), this is it.

8. Vat of aloe

If you follow all of my recommendations, you'll probably need this. And lots of it. Apply generously and have fun!
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