Sam Jackson

SF Techies: 5 Jacket Alternatives to Look Like Less of an Ass

Just trying to help

If you need a primer on why this is not a good look, see this TechCrunch article. If you still don't, this might be lost on you (also jesus christ).

1. Northface fleece

Yes, you'll still look like a douche, and people will likely assume you are fresh off the plane from [insert name of small college in the Northeast here]. Which you probably are. Better to just own it.

2. Peacoat

Though the peacoat is still hanging on in Boston, most people will be confused as to where you procured your 19th century wardrobe. Still better than exposing the heathered company branded t-shirt under your very under-zipped Zucker-garb.

3. Patagucci

Yup, Patagucci. Worn by guys that fucking love Patagonia and want you to know it. And yet, better to go drawstring-less with this bad boy than accidentally dip your not-so-white-anymore drawstrings into every beer you encounter reaching up and over the bar for that craft whiskey.

4. Whatever this is

To be clear, you'll get some looks, but they'll be more curious/frightened/sympathetic depending on your build and demeanor. Which, better than seething looks of deep-seated loathing.

5. Literally anything

Yes, even looking like Rocky in a $10 hoodie is better. You can go straight from the gym to the bar, and, if you're headed west of 19th, you'll fit right in. Win win.
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